Friday, June 28, 2013

Updates on My OKCupid Profile

This is the face I make when I get a message that's like, "you so 
hot and sexxxxy." I have a mind too, dickfaces, and you should 
seriously consider not copying and pasting the same message 
to all women.

What do you want? Don't look at me.

I'm hideous.

So, I'm still pretty burned out on this whole OKCupid thing. I've gotten one message in the past [almost] three weeks, and it was from a guy who was like, "Hey, I don't know any of the things you mentioned in your profile, but do you want to go out?" And I was like, "No." But I said in the most subtle way possible, which is by not responding at all and then eating all the things in my freezer.

What do you do when you're burned out on OKCupid? Why, you put up a profile that says just that. This is my current profile. I'm leaving it up just a bit longer and putting a new one up on Monday. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy how burned out I am.

Here is the profile. Be sure to either click on it to enlarge it or invent some glasses-type of contraption that will enlarge things for you. (Just don't invent glasses because that's already been done and you might get sued.)

This is the face I make when people use "lol" to end their sentences.

This is the face I make when I leave OKCupid and look at cat videos 
for half an hour.

This is the face I make when a guy is all, "I don't believe in 
monogamy because no one woman can satisfy me." 

This is the face I make when your profile pic looks like it was taken 
on surveillance cameras in 1980s Beirut.

This is the face I make when I watch Steel Magnolias. DEAL WITH IT.

This is the face I make when dudes don't respond to my messages.

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