Monday, June 3, 2013

This Post Is an Obvious Grab for More Likes, Shares, and Favorites

This is just a placeholder until I find a better image.

Hey, girl. It has recently come to my attention that the reason Welcome to Bethville! doesn't have a ton of likes, favorites, retweets, fans, and fun things like that is that I am "not terribly relatable." And maybe I often "write about things that are not interesting." Also, I am sometimes "very long-winded."

Well, too bad!

I'm not going to make an obvious grab for your attention. I'm not going to post a bunch of cat videos. Not like these people and their almost 11 million likes on YouTube.

I don't talk about the antics of celebrities or post shirtless photos of people. Like this one.


And I certainly don't post things that might offend people in some attempt to generate a debate, like this valentine I made for abortion.

I haven't heard back.

Most importantly, I don't threaten people by saying things like, "If you don't like Welcome to Bethville! on Facebook, or follow me on Twitter, or just come back regularly, I'll find you. I'll find you and I'll do things to you. I'll wait in the bushes outside of your home. I'll leave muffins on your porch. Delicious muffins. And you'll eat them because I make really good muffins. I hope you are prepared for the thunder thighs my delicious muffins will definitely give you.

I guess what I'm saying is that if you can see past all of my unrelatableness, inability to say interesting things, and case of the jabber jaws and find it in your heart to like, favorite, share, etc. Welcome to Bethville! and I can get enough readers, it will 1) boost my self-esteem and 2) maybe generate enough interest to convince someone important to buy my Frightening Fridays manuscript. Then, I'll finally be able to afford that surgery for my sick pet and/or child.

Lots of love,
Bethany, The Mayor of Bethville

P.S. I don't know what else to do with this video of Benedict Cumberbatch in the shower, so I'm just leaving it here.

Also, try not to objectify this picture of Christina Hendricks, straight male readers and ladies who love ladies.

I said to stop objectifying her.

No comments: