|MISS PIGGY FOREVER.|
I talked to my mom this morning, and as expected, she was very angry and vengeful about the article I posted about her for Mother's Day. She even threatened to make spinach soufflé for me next time I visit.
So, I thought I should mention that the Miss Piggy part of the story is 100 percent true. My mom did sell my Miss Piggy doll at a garage sale when I was a child and made me very sad.
But then! Many years later, she went on Ebay and found a replacement. Miss Piggy was still in her box and was just as glamorous as ever. My mom watched that auction like a hawk, probably staying up late, late into the night in order to win Miss Piggy for me. That's a huge thing because normally my mom can't stay awake past 8 PM.
"You should leave her in the box," Mom said when she gave me my birthday present, "so that one day you can sell her for a lot of money."
But I said, "OH HELL NO MOM THAT'S CRAZY TALK." And Miss Piggy came out of her original packaging and gets her hair brushed and outfits changed every other month or so. She has a Pigs in Space costume, you guys.
So, now you know 100 percent of the truth.
I stand by my statement, however, that the spinach soufflé was inedible and probably deadly.