Wednesday, April 27, 2011
President Trump Takes Credit for Everything Ever
**I'm sick of looking up pictures of Donald Trump, so here is a picture of Voldemort instead.
"I am very proud of myself today," said President Trump in a press conference held on the roof of the newly-opened Washington Monument Hotel and Casino. "I, Donald Trump, the President of the United States, hereby take credit for everything ever." This was met with the applause of the gathered attendees including his children, First Lady Dakota Fanning Trump, and various former Apprentice participants.
He went on, "I am a patriot, having drafted and signed the very document that freed us from British control over 200 years ago. I am the smartest man alive, as I once wrote a little book called A Brief History of Time about the origin of the universe. Among other things, I also wrote and directed the movie Citizen Kane. And I just want everyone to know how proud I am of myself for doing all of these things. I'll now turn it over to the Speaker of the Hairdo to wrap up the alphabetical list of things I've decided to take credit for."
Trump then flew to Camp Ivanka aboard the helicopter that he invented.