Friday, December 24, 2010

The Baby Jesus vs. The Santanator 2: Judgment Night

And now, the long-awaited conclusion of the Baby Jesus vs. the Santanator! Happy holidays to all of my jolly readers!

The Baby Jesus vs. The Santanator 2: Judgment Night

The Santanator had two missions. The first was to find and destroy the baby Jesus. The second was to see what he wanted for Christmas. For while the Santanator was programed to do the bidding of the evil King Herod, inventor of the time machine and cyborgs, he still felt the need to spread holiday cheer and merriment everywhere he went. You see, under his titanium alloy exterior beat the heart of a jolly old elf.

The Santanator was making his list and checking it twice when suddenly he was knocked from his sleigh by a giant bazooka blast.

"You blew up my donkey," said the baby Jesus, leaping onto the Santanator's back. "Now, I will make you pay." With his holy screwdriver, the baby Jesus pried open the compartment on the Santanator's back that held his programming chip. With some quick work and the help of the Holy Spirit, the baby Jesus reprogrammed the Santanator so that he would be good.

"Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas," said the Santanator. "What do you want for Christmas, little boy?"

"That's more like it," said the baby Jesus. "Now, where are my wise men?"

"We three kings of Orient are....over here," came the voice of Balthasar.

"Good," said the baby Jesus. "Get on your camels. We have a treacherous king to destroy."

As you can imagine, the pint-sized Messiah, the reprogramed Santanator, and the three kings made quick work of destroying King Herod. It was actually really boring, so I'm not going to describe it. Just know that they came upon a midnight clear, slid down his chimney, and annihilated him.

So, what happened next to the Baby Jesus, his new robot friend, and his three wise men? The Baby Jesus eventually grew into an adult Jesus and they continued to kick a lot more ass for many Christmases to come.



Carlos said...


Anonymous said...

you rock this was very entertaining! Jesus with a gun I want that pic! Thanks for letting me enjoy a glimpse of your world through your eyes! See you around!