Tuesday, June 15, 2010
It's Almost Summer! Why Not Take a Vacation?
Need a vacation? Why not visit beautiful Bethany's Apartment Luxury Hotel and Casino?!
Amenities include a couch that sleeps one comfortably, a shared bathroom with a sparkling clean toilet, and beautiful views of my neighbors across the street who the other day roasted hot dogs over a burning trash can.
Explore the expansive 20 square foot grounds on foot. You might even spot some local wildlife! Just don't feed her. She bites.
Do you like water sports? The Bethany's Apartment Luxury Hotel and Casino is just steps from the East River. I hope you brought your biohazard suit and snorkel!
Hungry? Enjoy a luxurious meal courtesy of my refrigerator! How does gourmet dry pasta and croutons sound? I also have yogurt! And for dessert, popsicles!
Want to do some gambling? Visit the all-night Crazy Eights table. Or, for the more serious gambler, Go Fish!
Enjoy the night life? Why not drop in at Downstairs Neighbor Night Club and join in on the dance party that goes all night? No cover charge if you sneak in after dark with chloroform!
Need entertainment for the kids? Too bad! They can't come, and I have the poison darts to prove it.
Call for your reservation today at 718-***-****.
AAA discounts are available through bribery.
***Luxury hotel pictured above was used for illustrative purposes only. Bethany's Apartment Luxury Hotel and Casino is far more awesome.