Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Dictionary of Sexting for the Morbidly Confused

You've heard of "sexting," but what are some of the other current dangerous cell phone trends out there that could potentially bring about the destruction of humanity? And send us all spiraling out of control in a collision course with the sun? Well, look no further. This is your resource for all things dangerous trend of the sexual texting variety. In alphabetical order!

axting Sending nude photos of yourself chopping wood. (Which is not to be confused with....)

Axeting Sending nude photos of yourself while smelling like a $2 gigolo.

boxting Trying to send a text message of a sexual nature while wearing large padded gloves and lying on your back before the referee can count to ten.

exting Sending unwanted nude pictures of yourself to all of the ex boy/girlfriends in your contacts list.

faxting Exchanging sexual images when your technology is out of date.

foxting Sending sexual text messages while astride a horse and with the assistance of several hounds. (Primarily done in the United Kingdom.)

hexting Sending a sexual text message that comes with a free set of facial warts.

indexting Hiding sexual photos of oneself in the back of a book and then returning it to the library.

Lexting A nude text message sent by supervillain Lex Luthor, usually to Superman.

loxting Nude text messages of yourself smeared with cream cheese and covered with capers.

Marxting The act of collecting all your nude texts and distributing them among the people.

saxting Sending gratuitous snapshots of your woodwind instrument.

smallpoxting Sending gratuitous images of yourself covered with pus boils.

TexMexting Sending racy images of yourself eating a burrito.

Tyrannosaurus rexting Trying to send racy text messages, only to discover that you have no opposable thumbs and eating your phone in frustration.

tuxting Racy text messages sent by Bond, James Bond.

vexting "Sorry, we are unable to send your nude text message at this time. Please try again later."

vortexting A sexual text message....that never arrives.


Jen said...

Uh-oh, I think I've been Lexting!

nadarine said...

I should really know better than to click through to Bethville while at work. I think I just bit through part of my tongue trying to stifle my chortles at Marxting.

George Washington, The First President of the United States said...

I am FREQUENTLY guilty of axting. I can't lie. I love chopping wood.

Atreyu said...

Artaxting, I've done it.

UPS said...

Fedexting...I am ashamed.

Kenny G said...

If saxting is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

Jen said...

Flexting - Sending nude photos of yourself flexing. Common on the Jersey Shore.

Wreckting - Sending sexy texts while driving/crashing your car.

Reflexting - Sending naked photos taken of yourself in the mirror.

Disexting - Sending nude photos of yourself dissecting a frog.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@Jen: Hahahahahhahahaaha....flexting. I am guilty.