Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (A Post Drinking Game Summary)
The Fallen: I've fallen!
Megatron: I'll help you!
The Fallen: Okay!
Shia LaBeouf: You're my hot girlfriend.
Megan Fox: I totally know, right? I'm just going to bend over and get this.
Shia LaBeouf: Okay, but do it fast because I have to leave for college in a minute. Oh, no. I dropped this thingy that burned through the floor, and there are some robots in our kitchen. With guns!
Kitchen robots: Muhahahahahaha! *Bang bang bang!*
Mom: Don't go, Shia LaBeouf! You're my little cupcake, and I'll miss you.
Dad: Let him go, Shia LaBeouf's mom. He's a man now.
Their House: *EXPLODES!*
Bumblebee: Come with me if you want to live.
Later, at college....
Shia LeBeouf's roommate: There are alien robots who are taking over the world.
Shia LeBeouf: I don't know anything about that. I swear.
Shia LeBeouf's roommate: Okay, I believe you. Let's be best friends forever. Just don't even think about trying to move in on hot girl I like.
Shia LeBeouf: Okay.
Hot Girl: Tear my clothes off, Shia LeBeouf!
Shia LeBeouf: No, I can't. Okay, I might a little.
Megan Fox: We're broken up forever! I never want to see you again until five minutes from now!
Rainn Wilson: I'm totally in this movie.
Drunk narrator: I have such a Dwight Shrute ladyboner right now.
Optimus Prime: Why am I not in this summary yet? I'm super important.
Drunk narrator: I'm getting to you. Jesus.
Optimus Prime: *dies*
Drunk narrator: Oops.
Decepticon: Blah blah blah, the Primes left some super important shit in Egypt. And symbols. And some key thing that might bring Optimus Prime back to life.
Shia LaBeouf: I'll get it.
Bumblebee: I will go with you, Jerry Maguire.
John Turturro: I am such a brilliant actor. What the hell am I doing here?
Megan Fox: I'm just going to bend over and talk to this tiny Decepticon while it humps my leg.
Fifth grade boys: HAHAHAHAHA!
Later in Egypt...
The Fallen: People of Earth, I'm going to blow up your sun!
The people of Egypt: Okay, just let us move our goats first.
Megatron: Too late! *Bang bang bang! Kaboom!*
The people of Egypt: That's fine. We'll go build houses somewhere else. Bye now!
Archaeologists: Be careful. Those pyramids are super old and were built by slave labor.
The pyramids: *Crumble!*
Shia LaBeouf: Optimus Prime magic key stab!
Optimus Prime: I'm alive!
Optimus Prime: Not so fast, the Fallen!
Optimus Prime: The world is saved...but for how long?
Megatron: Until I come back!
Optimus Prime: Okay, then. Bye!
Shia LaBeouf: I love you, Megan Fox's boobs.
Megan Fox: I love you too!
Bumblebee: You had me at hello....You had be at hello.
Drunk narrator: ......