Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Conversations with the Other People in My Wii Fit Step Class
Me: Hi, I'm Bethany. I'm new to step class. What's your name?
Blue shirt: Step step step step!
Red shirt: Step! Step! Step!
Green shirt: Yay! You're stepping really well!
Pink shirt: Look how happy I am to be in step class!
Me: Oooookay. So, what else do you guys like to do?
Blue shirt: We only step! It's fun. Look at me step up, step down, and then step up again!
Me: But what do you do when you go home? You know, for fun?
Blue shirt: The step is our way. It is our only activity. We love to step.
Green shirt: Keep up with the rhythm. Now we're going to step faster.
Pink shirt: Stepstepstepstep!
Me: Why do you like to step so much?
Blue shirt: It strengthens of our calf muscles and buttocks. It makes the Providers pleased with our activity levels.
Blue shirt: Those who give us the step rhythms and monitor how well we step.
Green shirt: Prepare, bretheren! The clapping time is nigh!
Pink shirt: Yay! Clap clap clap! Step Step!
Me: Oops! I missed a step.
Blue shirt: It is allowed, for you are human and fallable. But be wary. If you step wrong too many times, your score will not break of 600 points and the Providers will heckle you with sad music.
Me: Well, that's not very nice.
Red shirt: Hold your tongue, new one! We do not question the authority of the Providers!
Blue shirt: Be kind, Red shirt. For the new one has only been stepping among us for a short time.
Green shirt: Friends! The one leg kicking time has arrived!
Pink shirt: Step! Kick! Step! Step! Kick!
Me: Have you guys ever considered just, you know, not stepping?
Blue shirt: We must step. To not step is to have nothing to live for.
Me: But what would the Providers do to you?
Red shirt: We would receive imperfect star ratings.
Green shirt: And now we step to the side with claps!
Pink shirt: Yay! Side step! Clap! Side step! Clap!
Blue shirt: We speak not of that possibility, new one. Now carry on with your stepping and burning of 27 calories.