Monday, November 9, 2009
God Catches Up on His Correspondence
Dear Ms. Joplin,
I apologize for the lateness of my reply and do hope that this letter finds you well.
Per your request on October 1, 1970, I regret to inform you that I must unfortunately deny your requests for the following items: 1) a Mercedez Benz and 2) a color TV. The holy spending limit allots you only $30 per month for frivolities, and both items would put you over that limit.
Per your third request, "night on the town" is too general a term. If you would like to provide a detailed request as to what a "night on the town" might entail, I would be happy to review it and get back to you no later than November 9, 2039, with a final decision.
Again, I apologize for the delay in my response to your request. I've been busy for the last several years monitoring sporting events to determine who deserves to win and giving out Grammys.