Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Robert Pattinson Does His Laundry























From the reporters who brought you recent headlines Robert Pattinson Can't Get a Date and Robert Pattinson May Quit Acting...

ROBERT PATTINSON DOES HIS LAUNDRY.

Watch the 23-year-old hunkpire as he sorts his whites from his colors. Ogle while he adds the right amount of laundry detergent. Stare as he sits drinking a cup of tea while he waits for the spin cycle to finish. Stand back and admire as he bends over to transfer the clothes from the washer to the dryer. Peer at him adding a dryer sheet and selecting the right heat setting. Gape as he pulls the laundry from the dryer and begins to put it away. Lay eyes on him folding his socks. Goggle while he irons his shirts. And gawk while he finishes everything up and closes his closet door. You will be RIVETED!

"Action-packed from beginning to end!"
-The Teenage Girl Times

"OMG, he's so dreamy!"
-Somebody's dad

"I can't wait until the sequel when he scrubs his bathtub!"
-Vampire Fan Girl Weekly

"What are you people doing in here?"
-Robert Pattinson

"Uh..."
-Our camera crew

"Hello, police?"
-Robert Pattinson

"Run for it!"
-Me

Coming to a search engine near you on October 23, 2009!

Robert Pattinson Does His Laundry.

If you see one news story this year, let it be this one...

15 comments:

Johnny P. Coaltrain said...

How odd I'm just on my way out to stalk Robert Pattison.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@JPC: Are you going to hang out in his bedroom and watch him sleep?

t.c. said...

Who?

Joe Berkowitz said...

I was just going to do a blog-rant about that whole 'Robert Pattinson Can't Get a Date' thing. I know comments like that are designed to irk people, but I still found it irksome.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@t.c.: You can find information about him at Google.com. You're such a boy-person.

@Joe Berkowitz: Right? If you post a rant about that, I will totally read it and giggle furiously.

Jen said...

I call bullshit on him ironing his shirts.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@Jen: I didn't say he did a good job of ironing his shirts. :)

peach said...

t.c is just pretending to be a boy-person. don't be fooled. he also knows who zac efron is.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

peach: Who doesn't? He's so dreamy.

Allison said...

Wow at least I know I am not the only one that stalks him. I was in the closet the whole time and was wondering what you were doing there with cameras.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@allison: I wasn't "stalking" him. I'm a reporter. I was "reporting."

jody! said...

wait, why would bob patti need a date? isn't he with what's-her-face bella? i am so behind on my celebrity gossip. crap. i've got to stop reading your blog and go back to reading TEEN PEOPLE or something.


(and no, i'm not pulling a t.c. and pretending i don't know my gossip. i am so ashamed that i am out of the teen celebrity gossip circle. did a jonas brother get laid when i wasn't looking? i'll kill myself.)

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@jody!: She's not a date. They're just boning.

jody! said...

i must be confused. i thought bob patti was just looking to get some. i didn't realize he wanted wining and dining as well. what a wanker. he has so got to stop thinking he's mormon, i mean edward cullen.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@jody!: Even vampires need a little romance from time to time.