Thursday, October 29, 2009

Kansas Discovered to be a Band from the 70s and Also a State













In an amazing discovery on Thursday morning, geographers intensively studying old maps of the United States noticed that Kansas is not only a band that rose to fame in the 1970s, but also, surprisingly, a legitimate part of the United States of America.

"It's an amazing discovery," said Simon Blandon, a professor at the University of Connecticut, one of the individuals who made the discovery. "What we once thought was just an extension of Missouri or a band with hits like 'Carry on My Wayward Son' is actually a state."

The newly-discovered state appears to be geographically similar to Oklahoma, with plains and lightly rolling hills. "It's rectangular," said Blandon, but refused to elaborate out of fear of pioneers rushing there to colonize it before it can be fully explored. "I can't tell you exactly where it is. Just know that it's toward the middle part of the continental United States. And it's pretty large, so it's amazing that it took us this long to discover it."

A group of explorers were sent this afternoon from Washington, D.C., to explore the territory. They are hoping to meet up with some kind of an Indian guide somewhere along the way who will accept furs in trade for his services.

When asked what he expected to find there, Head of the U.S. Department of New Geographical Discoveries Buddy Van Housen said, "Hopefully oil reserves. Maybe the Lost City of Cibola. Maybe nothing but miles and miles of grass. But I'll tell you what we won't find. People. That place is totally uninhabited. I looked at a photograph of it, and it is empty of human life. Just look for yourself."

















"See? Nobody," Van Housen concluded. He hopes that the explorers will report back sometime within in the next six months.

12 comments:

wilsonbilson said...

Kansas makes funny people.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@WB: And many, many unfunny people as well.

peach said...

kansas is so pretty! and yummy.

i think you have to be an insider or know someone to get in....

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@peach: Very, very true. I'm dying for some fried chicken about now.

Thank you for not responding as grape to confuse me.

bangmaster said...

If Kansas is actually a state, then why is Kansas City in MISSOURI?

Huh?

Huh?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@bangmaster: Kansas City, Missouri is in Missouri. Kansas City, Kansas is in Kansas.

So there.

Johnny P. Coaltrain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@JPC: No rape jokes please.

Jen said...

Ooh, naturally occurring windmills! They've become such a rare site in our over-industrialized world.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@Jen: Right? It's amazing where they pop up. Just like weeds.

t.c. said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAOQtp-3b48

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@t.c.: There's nobody here! Excuse me.