Thursday, October 29, 2009
Kansas Discovered to be a Band from the 70s and Also a State
In an amazing discovery on Thursday morning, geographers intensively studying old maps of the United States noticed that Kansas is not only a band that rose to fame in the 1970s, but also, surprisingly, a legitimate part of the United States of America.
"It's an amazing discovery," said Simon Blandon, a professor at the University of Connecticut, one of the individuals who made the discovery. "What we once thought was just an extension of Missouri or a band with hits like 'Carry on My Wayward Son' is actually a state."
The newly-discovered state appears to be geographically similar to Oklahoma, with plains and lightly rolling hills. "It's rectangular," said Blandon, but refused to elaborate out of fear of pioneers rushing there to colonize it before it can be fully explored. "I can't tell you exactly where it is. Just know that it's toward the middle part of the continental United States. And it's pretty large, so it's amazing that it took us this long to discover it."
A group of explorers were sent this afternoon from Washington, D.C., to explore the territory. They are hoping to meet up with some kind of an Indian guide somewhere along the way who will accept furs in trade for his services.
When asked what he expected to find there, Head of the U.S. Department of New Geographical Discoveries Buddy Van Housen said, "Hopefully oil reserves. Maybe the Lost City of Cibola. Maybe nothing but miles and miles of grass. But I'll tell you what we won't find. People. That place is totally uninhabited. I looked at a photograph of it, and it is empty of human life. Just look for yourself."
"See? Nobody," Van Housen concluded. He hopes that the explorers will report back sometime within in the next six months.