Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Choose Your Own Contingency Plan: A Quiet Evening at Home
If you build a time machine, go to section 1A.
If you eat some Doritos, go to section 1B.
You get an old refrigerator box out of the dumpster and some pipe cleaners. Now, you just have to figure out how to travel through time.
If you decide to decorate the time machine with glitter and magic markers and forego the fancy science stuff, go to section 2A.
If you spend many years toying with theories of the universe, go to section 2B.
Mmmmmm...Doritos! You eat them and you eat them! And they are oh, so good. But while you are eating them, you are approached by strange individual with nunchucks!
If you fight him, go to section 3A.
If he is a surprise celebrity guest, go to section 3B.
Well, the glitter glue you used, in combination with the magic marker fumes, caused a chemical reaction that sent you back in time to 1978. Convenient!
If you head to the disco, go to section 4A.
If you prevent my parents from having sex, which results in me never being born, go to section 4B.
Who do you think you are, Stephen Hawking?
If you actually are Stephen Hawking, go to section 5A.
If you are actually Dr. Emmett Brown from the 1985 movie Back to the Future, go to section 5B.
If you are someone else, go to section 5C.
Whoa there, John McClane. It's just your neighbor Ted, martial arts enthusiast. Apparently, he's given himself a concussion trying to make a sweet video for YouTube and wandered into your apartment in need of medical assistance. And now you've broken his arms as well. Nice work, jerk.
It's Michaelangelo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! You love him! He loves Doritos. You are best friends for life.
It's ladies' night at Studio 54. You get tangled in Rod Stewart's chest hair! AAAAA!
You interfered with the time space continuum. Universe will self destruct in 3...2...1...
Hi, Stephen Hawking!
Doc! Read the letter! It's super important! No, really!
Oh, no! You stepped into the quantum leap accelerator and vanished! And now you are forced to travel through time, putting right what once went wrong and hoping each time that your next leap...will be the leap home.
If you face a mirror image that is not your own, go to section 6A.
If your only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from your own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only you can see and hear, go to section 6B.
What were you people thinking with season 5? There's actually an episode called "Revenge of the Evil Leaper." Wow.