Monday, August 10, 2009

Celebrity Fashion Don'ts

I love fashion as much as the next person who sometimes wears the same outfit twice in one week. But celebrity fashion sometimes borders on silly. Therefore, I'm going to spend this post calling celebrities out on their hilarious fashion choices. Enjoy!

Dear Natalie Portman,

While I loved you in that Star Wars thingy, it is never advised to go outside wearing the hair of Carrot Top.

Your friend,
The Fashion Editor of Bethville

Anne Hathaway, I don't care what the trend is. Your eyebrows look like they were groomed by Tim Burton.

Oh, very funny, Mary-Kate Olsen. I hope you're shoes are tastefully oversized and squeaky.

Beyonce, that pasty is made from an endangered sea turtle! Fashion fail!

Here is Cameron Diaz sporting, not only a mustache, but the mustache of Joseph Stalin. Keep it classy, Cam-cam!

Scarlett Johansson sporting the wagon from Oregon Trail as sunglasses. I hope she purchased enough wagon tongues in Fort Apache to make it all the way to Oregon wearing those things.

Oh, Posh. Really? A rabid dog instead of a brassiere? That just seems dangerous. I hope you've had your shots.

America Ferrara, never use Richard Dreyfuss as lipgloss. That's good advice.

Rihanna? Is that poorly Photoshopped upside down cow boobs you're wearing as a hat?

Criticism on male celebrity fashion choices coming soon.


lalaland13 said...

I hereby nominate Scar-Jo with the Oregon Trail wagon as the best use of Photoshop ever.

You are way too on for a Monday, Ms. Mayor.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't ScarJo know wearing the Oregon Trail Wagon on your face is a good way to end up with a nasty case of disentery? I smell a tombstone on the side of the road in her future!

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

Bahahahahahahaha! I aaaaalmost made a dysentery joke, but I decided it was only one rung up from a poop joke. And this website it all class, as you know.

t.c. said...

Whenever I read the long form of the word bra, I have to make sure I'm not actually reading about a brasserie. Mmmmm, croissants.

Dingo said...

I like the Nuclear Reactor Orange Glow you added to Katherine Heigl. Oh, wait, you didn't add that? She looks like that (un)naturally?

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@t.c.: Get your mind out of the oven.

@dingo: She paid someone to do that to her. Can you believe it?

Anonymous said...

Instead of Cam-cam, you totally should have said Camrade

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@Anonymous: HA!