Saturday, July 11, 2009
Saying Goodbye to Andrew Jackson
It has been 24 hours since we began reporting on the ongoing death of 7th president Andrew Jackson. As we continue to say goodbye to the man who was known as "Old Hickory," fans and critics alike all agree that this topic is getting tiresome.
"My god, he's been dead for 164 years," said the reporter who is currently writing this. "And his actions led to the deaths of at least 15 Native Americans. Therefore, I don't know we are covering him still being dead so heavily."
"I think he was awesome," said current president Barack Obama, whose words have been taken out of context.
"I agree," said the Battle of New Orleans.
"What am I, chopped liver?" asked more recently-deceased president Gerald Ford.
"No, I am," said foie gras.
"No, you're not," said Wikipedia.
"You're lying," said Encyclopedia Britannica.
"How did you know?" said Richard Nixon.
"Where am I?" asked Ronald Reagan.
"I'll find you," said Jimmy Hoffa.
"Hey, where's Waldo?" asked a bestselling book in 1987.
"I'm over here," said Ralph Waldo Emerson.
"Well, I feel enlightened," said Transcendentalism.
Representatives of Andrew Jackson have thus far remained mum on the continued deceased state of the former president. A memorial service was planned 164 years ago, and Jackson's body was laid to rest where it remains to this day, next to his wife Rachel at their home near Nashville.