Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Let's Celebrate 1/8 of Ireland

As I've surely mentioned in the past, I am, in fact, 1/8 Irish. Which means that on St. Patrick's Day, while my 100% Irish brethren are out getting crazy and drinking Guinness by the pint, I am at home with some chamomile tea and a book. Because we 1/8 Irish people are humble in our celebrations and only allowed to do 1/8 as much to celebrate our ancestry.

I used to lament being only 1/8 Irish because Irish people are so into the culture of being Irish. They get to wear T-shirts that say, "Kiss me, I'm Irish!" while I wear a T-shirt that says, "Budweiser." They build parade floats and paint the town green.

But then I realized that I'm also 1/2 English and therefore could freely oppress the 100% Irish people as much as I wished.

Here are some other things that are 1/8 Irish:

1. The first 16.1 minutes of the film The Quiet Man, starring John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara.

2. Just being friends with the Blarney Stone.

3. A severed limb of James Joyce.

4. My siblings.

5. A shamrock that was run over by a lawnmower.

6. A leprechaun who has only a sack filled with pennies.

7. Corned duckling and a single Brussels sprout.

8. A french fry famine.

9. "When Irish Eyes Are Amused."

10. Whatever is left of the Titanic at this point.

11. Angela's Dust Bunnies.

Have more 1/8 Irish things? Share them in comments. Do it quickly before you enrage the 1/8 German who also lives inside me.


Anonymous said...

The crusty bit of soda bread left on the break room table.


nadarine said...

The Emerald Astroturf.

Those airplane-sized bottles of Jameson.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! You guys are cracking me up.

lalaland13 said...

Colin Farrell, sober.

Store brand Lucky Charms.

Bono's sunglasses.

This parade. http://www.hotsprings.org/festivals_events/stpat_parade.asp

Pauly Shore and Mario Lopez have been grand marshals.

nadarine said...

An album of Pogues covers.

Sinead O'Connor's hairstyle, post-buzz cut.

Andrea said...

How about this?


B said...

1/8 or three hours of St. Patricks day, would be 1/8 irish. As would 1/8th of the city of Dublin. I say we found our own 1/8th nation.

Andrea S. said...

The group of people gettin' trashed on St. Patrick's Day.