Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Have I Mentioned That I Like Cookies?


I recently changed chocolate chip cookie recipes. So what, you say? All chocolate chip cookie recipes are basically the same, you say? How very wrong you are. While I sit here and contemplate how I will make you suffer for saying such a thing, I ask you to consider my new favorite recipe.

Chocolate Chip Cookies Made With Love

1 cup (2 sticks) butter
1/2 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
2-1/4 c. all-purpose flour
3/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
1 package chocolate chips

Cream together butter, sugars, vanilla, and eggs. In separate bowl, mix together flour, salt, and soda. Then, slowly add to egg and sugar mixture. When thoroughly mixed, stir in chocolate chips. Drop by spoonfuls on greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degress for 5-8 minutes or until lightly browned around edges. Let cool on waxed paper or cooling rack. Eat one to check for poison.

Now, if you are a fan of the more caramelly, chewy type of chocolate chip cookies, you can switch your sugars around and use 1 cup of brown sugar and 1/2 cup of white sugar. For really caramelly and chewy cookies, use dark brown sugar, the fresher the better. In the batch I made last night, I also threw in dark chocolate M&Ms for color.

So, the reason I switched recipes was that I'm trying to take Crisco completely out of my baking necessities. Apparently Crisco is the devil, and if you eat it, you will explode. Or something. So I'm all about the butter these days.

Now, back to thinking about baseball.

Monday, April 7, 2008

I'm Not an Alcoholic; Baseball Season Told Me to Drink All the Beer


What? All the beer is gone? Well, it certainly wasn't me who drank it.




Okay, it was me.

But baseball season has started, so I have an excuse. I drank it in a heated fit of passion during the 8th inning. And picked off all of my nail polish and ate a huge pile of M&Ms.

What do you mean you worry about my drinking? It was only those six bottles. Plus, the ten from last night. I needed those. The bases were loaded, and there were NO OUTS. What? Talking to the TV is perfectly normal. I wasn't arguing with the TV. Don't be ridiculous. I was arguing with the announcer guy. You know the one. The guy who's always repeating himself.

Don't even think about touching that remote. This tortilla chip has a very sharp edge and would make a great ninja star. Just back away now. That's right. Go back to what you were doing. Forget what you saw here...just forget what you saw...

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Riddle Me This: Just Who Has Been Google Searching on My Computer?


What have I been up to lately? Apparently a lot if you look at my list of recent Google searches. I don't remember most of these, which leads me to believe that someone else has been using my computer.

1. 2 mashed bananas: Searching for a recipe or planning a booby trap? You tell me...
2. adventure turkey adventure packages: I like the idea of sending turkeys on adventures, particularly adventure turkeys.
3. Lana Turner
4. Alan Alda: Maybe they were actually M.A.S.H. bananas.
5. Brazilian consulate: Este nao era mim.
6. cheap airfare to Israel: Um...
7. Paul Rudd: Mmmmm...yeah. This was me.
6. emotional stress fainting: Apparently the airfare put her over budget.
7. triathalon training: Israel is pretty far away.
8. Gainsville murders: I think I see where this is going.
9. reverse cowgirl: This one I remember. No comment.
10. Alex Rodriguez: No tie to the above...or was there?
11. Daniel Striped Tiger: Meow meow what?
12. Hebrew classes
13. Hugh Laurie: Me again.
14. Empress Nympho: Would you step on the same foot at the SAME TIME? My tits are falling off.
15. Ship USS Valley Forge: Probably not the best way to get to Israel.
16. Unicorn King: When a regular unicorn just won't do.
17. Firefly: The real question is "Was it a Nathan Fillion or Alan Tudyk kind of day?"
18. Golden Girls clothing: Picture it, Sicily, 1921...
19. henchmen

I think it's time to password my computer for when I'm not at home...