Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Alone at Home













Today, I found an apartment. And it is mine. All mine. And, no, you can't live there with me because, in the words of the ever-wise Kevin McCallister, "I'M LIVING ALONE!"

There are two things I always wanted when I grew up. 1) An ice cream maker and 2) My own apartment. The ice cream maker was perhaps a bit easier to come by. It was only $14.95. The apartment was slightly more expensive but doesn't require ice, rock salt, and heavy cream.

I used to fantasize about finding my own place. Like a hideout, or a clubhouse. Our farm was filled with several abandoned sheds, and I just knew that one of them was secretly my home. I could hang curtains and haul in an old chair for reading in. And no one but me would know it was there. Unfortunately, all of the sheds on our farm were abandoned for a reason: they were falling down. Or filled with rotting grain. Or both. And so, despite my many attempts to find a secret hideout, I was stuck hiding out in my bedroom. Singing along to Roxette. Pretending I was a Goonie. Reading titilating romance novels. (Which, in retrospect, were more hilarious than titilating.) When I was in my bedroom, I believed that no one could hear my horrible singing. Or my Truffle Shuffling. Or my frantic page turning.

And that is what I crave with my new apartment: the ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want. To lay on the couch without having to make room for other people. To let my dishes sit in the sink overnight if I don't feel like washing them. To watch TV in my underwear: baseball in the summer, old movies on in the winter.

Of course, visitors will be welcome, as long as they don't drink too much Pepsi before bed. I mean it.

15 comments:

Jen said...

Congrats on the apartment! I have mine to myself for the next few days, but I won't be around much to enjoy it. Oh well.

peach said...

as a fellow live-aloner, i can say that, yes, i LOVE not having to share. (especially since there is only one bathroom. who designed this place?!) however, there are times when i am terrified that i will choke on a pea during dinner and die (unnoticed for days). fortunately, you are less paranoid than i am.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@peach: No, I have that thought too. I do believe there was an entire episode of Sex in the City about that very topic. :)

AmazonRedhead said...

Baseball and old movies? Enjoy your solitude while you can, because when I get tired of this joint and move to NYC I'm moving in.

M said...

other things one can do in their underwear whilst living alone: playing tetris, standing in front of the fridge with the door open, paying bills.

congrats on your new place!!

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@amazon: Yay!

@M: And building your own sheet tent hideout.

fitforafemme said...

Congrats, sugar! Were you one of those kids who could never stop thinking about how much better you'd do the whole living-out-of-a-boxcar thing? I totally was. M & I are forever doing ridiculous shit home alone in our underwear. In fact, I'll send you a special photo ASAP.

angiesyounglover said...

titilating is an amazing word!!

congratuuuulations!

Greta said...

I have ambiguous feelings about living alone. Part of it is the "I will die alone after slipping in the shower and knocking myself out on the toilet bowl" or perhaps the perennial favorite "I will burn in my sleep from my defective heating pad."

But then there are other times when I really like running around pantless.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@fitforafemme: Oh, totally. I constantly had fantasies about just living by myself. I was totally responsible, even then. Hahaha...

@ayl: TITILATING!

@greta: I have the slipping fear, the choking fear, and the one where I fall down the steps and break my leg. I also have the fear where I die and my cat eats my lifeless corpse.

angiesyounglover said...

if i don't come help you move, are you going to make me sleep on the hide-a-bed with fuller?

lalaland13 said...

Ohh your own place in the city! That is very good indeed. Congratulations. After two roommates in college, I said screw it and went even further in debt by paying extra to have my own pie-shaped room.

I've lived alone ever since. My college apartment, and now this one. It's kind of a mess right now. And most of the time. But the cats don't seem to mind much. Lola is attacking Casey as I type.

I think you discover things about yourself when you live alone. Not always good things, but important things. Honestly, if I ever get a long-term guy, I may not be able to live with him. I'm so used to it by now. Although that 30 Rock episode regarding single ladies choking to death was a bit too spot-on.

bubblegumculture.com said...

Yay, your own place! Living alone is THE BEST. Seriously, I can think of few things that are better. Well, dancing in your underwear to pop songs you don't want people to know you love ranks up there. Not that I've ever done that.

bubblegumculture.com said...

Yay, your own place! Living alone is THE BEST. Seriously. I can think of few things that are better. Well, dancing in your underwear to pop songs you don't want others to know you love ranks up there. Not that I've ever done that.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

@bgc: I just want to be able to have my TV and my music on without wondering if it's bothering anyone. Also, I like to yell at the TV during baseball season. Wee!