Tuesday, July 15, 2008
And Now...Fat Shakespeare, the Portly Bard: On the Importance of RSVPs
One serving mutton, the other chicken pie.
And I, caught in a quandary between the two.
Mine eyes doth gaze upon my calendar.
Upon the same eve these dinners fall,
Two fortnights hence.
By my beard!
Fie and fie again!
I beseech my patron, the Hefty Lord Chamberlain,
To change his invitation to July 26.
A whining maggot-pie, he called me.
The nerve of that canker-blossom!
And so, I am resolved to choose one or the other.
But what to decide?
Allow me to think whilst I eat this gingersnap.
And this one as well.
And hello! Is that custard?
Ne're have I spied such beauty in a pudding...
I'faith! Is that calf tongue yonder?
And boiled partridges? And stewed trout?
And anteater face with parsnip gravy?
And cat stomach sausage? With quail's blood sauce?
And oysters on wild dingo brains?
And stuffed elephant blisters?
And candied lizard on a bed of shaved oxen sinus?
And horse buttock pie?
Alack! I am stuffed. And I must go nap.
Anon, then. Anon.