Tuesday, June 10, 2008

What I Found at the Flea Market: Part 2














With no further ado, the search for the crappiest Kansas flea market item continues...

I know what you're thinking. What the fuck is that thing? Well, to be honest, I'm not sure. It's a ball made of string filled with fake flowers. Like a giant bird's egg that hatches knick knacks made out of pipe cleaners. Or an alien pupa from a planet occupied entirely by crazy aunts.














Clown: I have him right where I want him. He looks over at the beaded doorbell cozies, I blind him with a balloon animal, and then, I steal his wallet.














Later in life, Squanto went on to become the first Vegas showgirl and was immmortalized forever in applique.














Looks like some glue gun totin' fancy boys broke into the Elks Lodge again last night, Earl.
















And for the panty enthusiasts, some Art Frahm.














They were young. They were in love. They were porcelain. It was not meant to be.














Well, we must leave the flea market now and get on with our crap-free lives. But I leave with you this image of what I ended up buying for my friend. We call it Rainbow the Dragon and His Tiny Wizard Friend, Gaylord Dragonsmiter. A hand-crafted rotating music box that plays a happy little wizard stabbing song. Although theories have been put forth that Rainbow is actually signing an autograph.

5 comments:

jody! said...

two things.

1. the first image is not pipe cleaners (upon closer inspection of a hi-res image). it's actually string that has been dipped in sugar water and laid to dry over a balloon. then the balloon is popped. kind of like a classy papier-mache. although this one is suffering from overkill. that's a little too much with the sugared sting and looks more like a deadly wasp's nest.... frightening.


2. as the recipient of rainbow the dragon and gaylord dragonsmiter, i must say, i am incredibly proud. the pair sit in all their glory atop my shelf at work and recieve many compliments. and some horrified looks when it's realized that despite the serene look on gaylord dragonsmiter's face, and the enchanting and relaxing music, rainbow the dragon has a giant crystal shard in his hand and is about to impale gaylord. it seems the dragonsmiter is about to be smited by the dragon. what an ironic twist....

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

I never said it was actually made of pipe cleaners. I said that it looks like an egg from which pipe cleaner knick-knacks might hatch. Like if you incubated it in a box filled with felt scraps and kept it warm w

Clearly, you don't know the whole story. You see....

Rainbow the Dragon was raised by a kindly shepherdess named Galena. When he was a few years old, he was stolen by an evil man, brainwashed, and was made to lay waste to the countryside. With the help of the powerful and wise wizard, Gaylord Dragonsmiter, the curse was lifted, and Rainbow became a good dragon once again. Gaylord and Rainbow became friends and retired to a mountain cottage together where they remain to this day. Galena was trampled to death by sheep.

Greta said...

ART FRAHM FOREVER.
http://www.lileks.com/institute/frahm/index.html

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

Thanks! I was going to post that link and forgot.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

I was just going to make fun of your typo, Jody, when I noticed that I never finished my thought on egg incubation.