Friday, June 13, 2008
My Fortune and My Downfall
Last Tuesday, I woke to discover yellow water dripping from my bathroom ceiling.
"Eureka!" I cried.
At last I had discovered the springs of eternal life. And in my own home, too! I began to ponder my good fortune. I could make a lot of money. I could bottle the water and sell it. I could rent out my bathroom to the sick and the elderly and let them bathe themselves in the healing waters dripping from around my light fixture. I immediately called the building super. He would want to know about this! It might cure his baldness! I quickly put a bucket under the drip. I could not let one droplet of that water go to waste.
My super didn't answer his phone. I called my landlord, thinking he might like to share in the fortune.
"Quick!" I said, "get someone over here! The springs of eternal life are spouting from my ceiling!"
He promised to send somebody over right away and hung up.
Two hours later, a man with a ladder arrived. "I'm here to look at your ceiling," he said. I think he was from the Coronado Institute. He immediately went to work trying to discover the source of the springs. I left for work, promising him 5% of the profits I planned to make. Soon, I would be able to quit my job and bottle and sell my eternity water full time. Everything seemed to be coming together nicely.
But when I returned home later, the man was gone, the leak had stopped, and the bucket had been emptied. I was devastated. There went my fortune, stolen by a man posing as a representative of the Coronado Institute. All he left behind was his ladder, as if to taunt me. Maybe I will sell it on Ebay.