Friday, June 20, 2008
How to Date: The Boys on Your Computer Part 2
I mean it.
I'm not going to reconsider my stand against online dating.
So, let me clarify a few things. It wasn't the two dudes I went out with that caused me to feel this way. It wasn't that I had absolutely no chemistry with the first one and he kind of had a hunchback. And it certainly wasn't that the second one was stalkerish creepy and seemed obsessed with talking about pet demise. It was the way the whole situation made me feel. Me, specifically.
I am totally aware that there are people who have made a go of this online dating thing. I was in a wedding last year that was a result of two people meeting online. (As one of said two people reminded me this morning via Facebook.) That was the right thing for them. But it's not for me.
1. If you are doing the online dating, you are doing one specific thing: looking. Whether you're looking for a quick one in the back of a cab or one of those commitment thingys. I don't want to look. I just want to live my life and meet people and let things happen. If I meet a dude during the normal course of my day, great. If not, whatever. I realized something pretty important at the end of my last relationship: I like being single. I get so much work done, and I don't have to worry about the Wandering Penis Disease that seems to plague my boyfriends.
2. Physical attraction is important. Did any cavewoman ever gauge the attractiveness of a caveman on his ability to do witty cave paintings? No. She saw his hairy ass out spearing a buffalo. And it didn't make her shallow or thoughtless. If I meet someone in person, I know immediately if there's something there. A month of trading hilarious remarks does not attraction make.
3. I have to be in the mood to date. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood. My online dating profile is still saying, "Hi! Look over here!" while I'm in a "Fuck off" sort of mood.
4. It costs money. I'm cheap. End of story.
So, in short, I don't wish to improve upon the quantity of dates I go on. And that's what online dating does. It gets you out there on more dates more often. I don't want that. If I go on one date once in a while with someone I meet in person, I'm satisfied with that. If it goes well, awesome. If not, there will be another date at some point. I'm not looking for my other half. I'm already a whole. Another whole to go with the one I have would be nice.
That's what she said.