Sunday, January 27, 2008

From the Archives: Bad Guys, Inc.


Bad Guys, Inc.

Official Henchman Training Schedule


7:00-8:00 Glowering Menacingly

8:00-9:00 Avoiding Being Killed in the Crossfire

9:00-10:00 Avoiding Being Killed by Your Own Boss

10:00-11:30 Accessorizing With Your Black Wardrobe

11:30-1:00 Hard Liquor and Cigarette Break

1:00-2:00 Ski Masks and You

2:00-3:00 Playing Dead Effectively

3:00-6:00 Afternoon Lecture
“Hey, What Was That in the Bushes?”
How Not to Get Distracted by a Thrown Rock, Giving the Good Guy the Opportunity to Sneak Past You

These electives are also available for your convenience.

How to Shoot Out the Back Window of a Car Without Actually Hitting Your Target

Recognizing Cops for Beginners

Not Falling for the Decoy

Tying Easily Escapable Knots

Why It Is Important to Make Sure Your Secret Hideout Is Free of Makeshift Weapons When You Are Holding a Hostage There

2 comments:

Wilhelmina said...

This is great info to know.

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

Next semester they are offering "Makeshift Weapons from Articles of Clothing" in the art department.