Sunday, January 27, 2008
From the Archives: Bad Guys, Inc.
Bad Guys, Inc.
Official Henchman Training Schedule
7:00-8:00 Glowering Menacingly
8:00-9:00 Avoiding Being Killed in the Crossfire
9:00-10:00 Avoiding Being Killed by Your Own Boss
10:00-11:30 Accessorizing With Your Black Wardrobe
11:30-1:00 Hard Liquor and Cigarette Break
1:00-2:00 Ski Masks and You
2:00-3:00 Playing Dead Effectively
3:00-6:00 Afternoon Lecture
“Hey, What Was That in the Bushes?”
How Not to Get Distracted by a Thrown Rock, Giving the Good Guy the Opportunity to Sneak Past You
These electives are also available for your convenience.
How to Shoot Out the Back Window of a Car Without Actually Hitting Your Target
Recognizing Cops for Beginners
Not Falling for the Decoy
Tying Easily Escapable Knots
Why It Is Important to Make Sure Your Secret Hideout Is Free of Makeshift Weapons When You Are Holding a Hostage There